


Delayed Due To Circumstances

by neapeaikea



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, M/M, Plot, Relationship Issues, Sort Of Breaking Up & Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:54:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27921862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neapeaikea/pseuds/neapeaikea
Summary: Chris and Ash's relationship is apparently not as solid as Chris has assumed. They really need to talk about it, but a conspiracy against the Federation keep getting in the way.
Relationships: Christopher Pike/Ash Tyler | Voq
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Delayed Due To Circumstances

**Author's Note:**

> Well then! An attempt at plot! I wanted to try my hand at writing some action, as I struggle with it, and what better way than with spaceships and secret agents? Most of the action and depiction of it is in line with a _Star Trek_ episode, imo. Only there's the Piler on top of that. No sex this time around, which is a rarity indeed for me. 
> 
> Set a few years after season 2, in whatever timeline Pike and Tyler are alive and well in. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Feedback is lovingly drooled on!

”Commander Tyler, you can attest to these intrusions from the Klingons?”

“Yes, Admiral Ng,” Ash responded, waving at the double-sided screens at the center of the conference table, “it’s the same pattern we’ve seen over the past months, they circle the border planets but when Starfleet sends vessels, they disappear. At first we assumed they simply wanted our attention, but they’ve done it for so long, repeatedly at some planets, that we think they’re testing our response times.”

“But you’re only now informing us? The _Enterprise_ responded to one such incident not long ago, and many other captains here have done the same. We’ve been risking our crews because Section 31 yet again failed to share information.” Chris butted in, a murmur of agreement spreading throughout the conference room.

“We informed Starfleet Command, what they chose to do with that information is not our business.” Ash said, leveling a flat look at Chris.

“Typical Section behavior.” Chris said, eager to press the point. “You know which Starfleet ships are out there, you know who the commanders are. Yet every time you have information that commander might need, you tell Starfleet Command instead.”

“That is the chain of information our organizations have agreed upon.” Tyler said curtly.

Chris felt his irritation boiling over, “Section 31 has always played by its own rules, to claim you’re now sticking to some regulations or statutes is preposterous.”

Ash’s irritation was probably reaching a breaking point too, from the coldness in his eyes, “It is precisely because the Section was formerly led a certain way, that we now report all our pertinent findings directly to Starfleet Command, and only them. Seeing as I know you disliked the former ways of the Section, I’m surprised to hear you speak like this, Captain Pike.”

“Gentlemen,” Admiral Ng broke in with her trademark calm, “this is not what we are here to discuss, though the matter has been noted. If that would be all, Captain Pike?”

“Of course, Admiral.” Chris said. He glanced over at Ash and could see him glaring daggers at him. Perhaps Chris had pushed too far, but it was all true, and all things he had spoken with Ash about before. Chris would always put his crew first, and he knew his fellow captains felt the same way. It was always good to remind both Section 31 and Starfleet Command of that.

The conversation picked up where it had left off, Ash being asked to present significant data on the Klingon incursions into Federation space. It was all vital information, not least because the _Enterprise_ would have to adjust its flight schedule. Chris would have to talk to Spock about the asteroid belt near Glida 5 that could just as easily be monitored from Glida 7. Chris took in all the information, but also noted Ash’s demeanor. The longer he spoke, the less tense he seemed, but he was far from relaxed and he stared at the screen displaying data and pictures, ignoring most of the others in the room. Most pointedly, he refused to look at Chris. Chris understood why, but he hoped Ash would get over it. It wasn’t like it was the first time they’d exchanged heated words in their professional capacities.

The meeting adjourned an hour later, after everyone had had a chance to question both Ash and the representatives from Starfleet Command. Increased Klingon presence in Federation space was worrying, especially since they seemed to be focusing on areas near science outposts, rather than military bases. After a few years of only minor incidents, things might be picking up again.

Chris tried to catch Ash’s eye as everyone at the conference table stood up, but Ash was looking down at a PADD. Instead Chris was approached by Captain Djordjic and got roped into a conversation about whether science ships should demand a security detail. At one point he was finally able to catch Ash’s eye, and tried to convey through gestures that he should wait, but Ash just shrugged and a few moments later, Chris could no longer see him in the room.

Once Captain Djordjic, and those that had joined their conversation, were satisfied, Chris finally got away. There was no sign of Ash in the hallway, like he’d suspected. He would’ve liked to exchange a few private words with Ash before their rendezvous later, just to make sure everything was alright. Chris tried to not read anything into it, he knew Ash was always busy as commander of Section 31 and probably had a lot of meetings to deal with while at the Starbase. He just couldn’t help shake the feeling that there was more to it than that.

**

Chris noted the glance that Spock and Una shared when he mentioned Ash’s name and the data he’d presented at the meeting, but neither said anything so he simply filed it away. The other two had spent less time with Ash than Chris had while with the _Discovery_ , but he knew they were aware that Chris and Ash had been in contact ever since. There was no need to hide that fact, collegial comradery was encouraged within Starfleet and there was always a plausible work reason for them to be in contact.

“If that would be all?” Chris asked as they’d made all the arrangements they needed to for the moment. Their input had given Chris a number of questions to bring up at the next day’s follow-up session but right now he was eager to forget work for a while.

“Certainly, Captain. It’s still early, would you care for a drink?” Una asked.

“Sorry, I have a previous engagement. Don’t drink too much, I still expect us to go over this again tomorrow morning before the meeting.” Chris said.

“Of course.” Una said, something almost knowing lurking in her eye. “You have a pleasant evening, Captain.”

“I intend to.” Chris had to fight back a smirk, but he was sure Una could see through him.

They went their separate ways, Chris bringing out his private PADD and flipping to the encrypted messaging system. Ash hadn’t sent him anything so to make sure Chris sent his own message.

_Still on for tonight? I’ll have replicated bloodwine waiting for you._

Chris walked to the quarters he’d been assigned for their stay at Starbase 8, politely nodding hello at the people he passed, but mostly checking his PADD for a reply. Because of their work, responses between them could take several days, but this time they were actually at the same place, and for the same reasons. It wasn’t too presumptuous to think Ash might have a quick reply for him.

He’d made it all the way to his quarters and out of his uniform jacket when a message finally appeared on the screen.

_Can’t make it._

Chris paused as he read it, his stomach turning to stone. He’d been looking forward to their date for weeks and until earlier at the meeting, it had seemed like Ash shared the sentiment. He waited for an explanation to follow, but nothing came. He decided to contact Ash through the communicator instead.

“Commander Tyler, this is Captain Pike.” Chris said into the communicator as he sat down on a surprisingly comfortable settee.

“Hello, Chris.” Ash greeted him after a brief pause.

“What do you mean you can’t make it?” Chris asked, ignoring niceties. They’d never been much for them anyway.

“I have work.”

“We all have work.” Chris countered. “It’s about time you took some time for yourself, you work almost more than I do. Come on, we’ve been talking about this for weeks.”

Ash sighed audibly, “You’re not gonna give up, are you? Alright, I’ll be there in a little while. But remember I thought it was better to wait.”

A little click told Chris that Ash had closed his communicator, so he did the same. He was somewhat surprised at Ash’s behavior, but being questioned for hours by the most prominent captains in Starfleet would leave anyone exhausted.

Happy that he was about to have company, Chris freshened up while he waited, changing out of his uniform to more casual clothes. Ash never seemed to care what Chris was wearing, but it was nice to remove everything that reminded them of work. Chris smiled to himself as he thought about the things he would do with Ash later, the things they had done the last time they saw each other. They weren’t supposed to develop feelings, but Chris knew better than to lie to himself. His stomach fluttered when he thought of Ash’s kisses, and he knew why. Letting himself go with it, Chris puttered around with a smile on his face, hoping that Ash would be quick to get to his quarters.

There was a food replicator in the room, and it was as Chris set the table with two plates of chick pea steaks that Ash arrived.

“Hello, handsome.” Chris said, approaching the other man. He leaned in to greet him with a kiss on the cheek, but Ash took a step back. “What’s wrong?”

“What do you think is wrong?” Ash asked, voice tight.

Taking in Ash’s tense body and the folded arms, Chris asked, “Is there really something wrong?”

Ash gave him a cold look, “You… Chris. Come on.”

Chris frowned, not certain he was putting things together rightly, “Is this about earlier?”

“Of course it is!” Ash exclaimed. “You questioned my loyalty in front of a room full of Starfleet captains. You yet again diminished and ridiculed my entire organization.”

Rolling his eyes, Chris said, “Oh I did not, I brought up the fact that many captains want a direct line to the Section, that’s all.”

“But that’s not how it works!” Ash ran a hand through his long and unruly hair, clearly frustrated. “We report to Starfleet command. Reporting directly to captains was what started the downward spiral in the first place, with all kinds of personal allegiances and backstabbing.”

Chris was taken by surprise by the outburst, but even if he thought Ash was overreacting, he also wanted them to stop arguing so they could enjoy their short time together. He’d been longing for Ash’s closeness and just wanted to touch him. He reached out, “Alright, calm down.”

Ash moved away from Chris’ hand, stopping short of slapping it away. “I’m sick of it, Chris. You’re always belittling my efforts, always talking about the Section in a demeaning manner. Do you get that this is my life? My job is pretty much all I have, and when you talk about it the way you do, it pisses me off.”

Completely taken aback, slightly horrified at Ash’s words, Chris once again reached out. He managed to find Ash’s hand and was thankfully allowed to hold it, “That’s not at all how I mean it.”

“What do you mean then?” Ash asked, looking at the floor. His body had gone from tense to slack and listless, his hair obscuring most of his face. “That we’re out there, risking our lives for our own pleasure, and not for the safety of the entire Starfleet, including your crew? I have agents that are captured and sent to prison camps, or even fucking murdered by enemies of the Federation, for gathering intel that can save whole planets. There’s not a week that goes by without me hearing whispers of murder plots and military sabotage. You don’t have a clue about what I deal with on a daily basis, and you have no clue about the shitstorm going on right now. This, the conference? You think that’s clever, gathering so many high-ranking Starfleet officers on a Starbase?”

Chris squeezed Ash’s hand, trying to get him to look at him, “I know you have a lot on your plate. I know your job comes with a greater risk than most others.”

“And you show that by constantly taking swipes at me?” Ash asked, annoyance in his voice.

“Not at you, at Section 31.” Chris said.

“It’s the same thing!” Ash exploded, dropping Chris’ hand and moving away, his anger taking up a lot of space in the room. “When are you going to understand that? I have had complete control of all operations for four years. It’s what I’m good at, I’m sorry if that offends you.”

“No, that’s not, come on,” Chris tried, “you know I don’t mean it like that. I care about you, you know that.”

Ash shook his head, “I do. But I also know that you don’t like what I do, and I just… I’m sick of lying about how angry that makes me. You’re always doing the right thing even when it’s going against your superiors, and you hardly get a slap on the wrist because people love you. I try to do things by the book and people still think I’m a Klingon spy. You’re supposed to have my back, but you’re just like the rest of them.”

Feeling acutely nauseous, Chris realized he was hurt, both for himself and for Ash. He took the few steps over to Ash and more or less forced him into a hug, “I’m not. I’m here for you, not your job, or my job. I’m here for us.”

Returning the hug for a moment, Ash eventually stepped back. “I don’t know that I want there to be an ‘us’.”

“Ash.” Chris felt his heart sink. He’d always expected Ash to call things off between them. He never thought it would be because of something stupid he said. He’d assumed Ash would be enticed by someone else, or to find that his lifestyle wasn’t conducive to relationships at all. Heck, he’d even considered Ash simply disappearing one day without any trace. But he hadn’t thought his own recklessness would be a problem, because Chris was not a reckless man.

“I told you this should’ve waited. I… I need time to think.” Ash said quietly.

“Okay, so think about it here, we don’t have to talk any more about it, just please don’t leave.” Chris had always been bad at relationships, but he’d never felt quite so desperate at keeping one alive.

Ash sighed, “I wish I could, but I wasn’t lying about work. I need to check in on some operatives, there’s been a lot of chatter indicating an imminent incident. Can we put a pause on this for later?”

As Ash turned towards the door, Chris went after him, pressing into him and kissing him as hard as he dared. “If you wanna come back later, that’s fine. No matter how late.”

“I’m sorry.” Ash caressed Chris’ cheek with one hand, the way he sometimes did when they were in bed and the room was dark around them. “I gotta go.”

Chris watched Ash leave, feeling empty and cold. He hadn’t known he had so many emotions invested in their relationship, but now they were all crashing down into his stomach, making him almost lose his balance. He sat down at the table, laughing despondently when he saw the forgotten plates of replicated dinner.

“Fuck.”

**

Chris didn’t sleep well, and it didn’t help that each time he woke up he remembered the fight, and most of all, Ash’s hurt and indecision. In the end, he had to put on an old audio book from the ship’s computer library to distract him from the thoughts swirling inside his head.

The only situation that came close to his current predicament was Vina and Talos IV, both in regards to romantic feelings and how troubling it was to think about. Over the years, the moments he doubted the reality around him had become fewer, but they still happened. Every so often he’d wonder whether he was still a prisoner in the menagerie, living an illusion until the Talosians grew bored of him. To save himself a lot of hurt and anxiety, he’d stowed everything tied to Talos IV into a box inside his head and shoved it way down.

Apparently Chris had a type, because Ash had been as pained and ashamed of himself when they’d met as Vina had been, though he’d picked a different way to deal with it. Vina been hurt and had carried so much agony. Ash was the same, only he hid his pain behind cockiness and backtalking instead of illusions. Vina had wanted to be beautiful for Chris. Ash was more concerned with coming off as competent and professional.

The first times with Ash had felt nearly unreal, except for how hard and hurried their touches had been. As Chris had gotten to know Ash better, and the sex had become caring as well as hot, reality had finally had something to offer that was better than what the Talosians had offered. Chris had always been aware that he and Ash were a bad idea considering the lives they led, but that it was his own doing that was threatening to tear them apart made his stomach clench. He’d rather not think about it, but seeing as Ash was someone that appeared in his Starfleet reports and updates from time to time, it would be impossible to store him in a mental compartment somewhere and ignore him like Vina.

Chris had cared deeply for Vina, despite knowing her for only a short time. If he’d cared for Vina, he had to admit that what he felt for Ash was love. As the boss of Section 31, Commander Tyler at times frustrated Captain Pike, but the private Ash, the one with the rare laughs and the calloused hands, had been nothing but a source of happiness for Chris for a couple of years now. Ash never judged, never expected anything, and never got upset at Chris’ strict dedication to his job. Chris had thought that he was the same towards Ash and that that was one of the reasons they worked so well together as partners. Apparently he’d misjudged big time.

Despite the audio book droning on about some mad king conjuring dragons, Chris couldn’t take his mind of the fight. The hum of the Starbase and the random clangs and noises from the hallway outside his room didn’t help either. Chris sighed in tired frustration. If this wasn’t reality but some Talosian illusion, it was a really, really crappy joke.

**

Una had already hailed him through the communicator before Chris showed up in the lower canteen for breakfast the next morning. Typically enough, once he’d finally succumbed to exhaustion, it wasn’t long before he had to get up to prepare for the conference’s last day.

“Captain.” Una said in greeting as he sat down at the table she’d picked. “You look tired.”

“Feel it too.” Chris admitted, before adding a white lie that was partly true, “Guess I need the engine hum from the _Enterprise_.”

“I know what you mean. This one’s too loud.” Una said through an easy smile. “Could Tyler sleep?”

Startled wide awake in a millisecond, Chris stared at her for an uneasy moment.

“Chris,” Una said gently, “I’ve known you for a long time. I’d like to think we’re friends.”

Looking around covertly to see if anyone was listening in, Chris noted that the canteen was surprisingly empty, but he still replied quietly, “We are. It’s just not something I’m comfortable talking about.” He paused. “Is it obvious?”

“No.” Una assured him, “I’ve wondered for a while, but I wasn’t sure until yesterday. I don’t think anyone else even suspects. Something just clicked with the way you spoke about him. You said you had a previous engagement, and later I saw him heading towards the hallway your quarters are in, well…”

Chris sighed, “You are much too perceptive for your own good. Not that it matters, because I think we’re history.”

“Why, what happened?”

Chris hesitated. Though he counted Una as a friend and a loyal crew member, his relationship with Ash was still potentially dangerous and he was certain the other man wouldn’t appreciate him spilling their secrets. At the same time, Chris could really use someone to talk to. He kept his voice lowered as he told her a condensed version of their fight.

“I think he wanted an apology, but I’m not sure I did anything wrong.” Chris concluded.

“What is with you men? Even when you’re with another man you manage to get it wrong.” Una said, a hint of disgruntlement in her tone. “You should apologize to him as soon as possible.”

“What’s the point, if he wants to end things?”

“Do you want to end things?” Una asked sharply.

“No!”

“Then apologize, and make sure he knows that you want to be with him.” Una said, “I can’t believe I have to tell you this. I swear, you’re the best captain I’ve served with but you’re a fool when it comes to love. Heads up, Spock’s coming this way.”

Chris turned his head to see his science officer approaching, carrying two cups of something. “He doesn’t know, does he?”

Una laughed, “Please, he’s Vulcan. He doesn’t notice feelings when they’re pommeling his body, there’s no way he’s picked up on the miniscule change in body language you and Tyler have around each other.”

“Captain, Number One.” Spock greeted them as he sat down at the table. He placed one of the cups in front of Chris. “Quiet in here this morning. I assume everyone is catching up on sleep after this night’s activities on C Deck.”

“This coffee for me?” Chris asked, “Spock, you might just become my favorite. Watch out, Number One.”

“What activities?” Una asked, ignoring Chris’ threat. “I didn’t hear anything.”

“I was on C Deck talking to some representatives from the Vulcan government, when there appeared to be some scuffle down the hall, when we approached the scene there were phasers fired and Starbase security were dragging men away. As I departed, I saw the same thing near the turbo lifts by your quarters, Captain.”

“Hmm.” Chris shrugged, “I didn’t hear anything, nothing out of the ordinary, some clanging and creaking is normal for a Starbase.”

“All too true.” Una agreed.

“The security team appeared to be supported by agents wearing Section 31 uniforms, but I found it imprudent to stay and gawk so I don’t know more. I could find out.”

On alert as soon as Spock mentioned Section 31, and remembering Ash’s insistence he had work, Chris tried to keep calm. “That’s not necessary, I’m sure if it’s anything for us to care about, we’ll be briefed in the meeting today. Now, anyone had a new thought overnight about our flight schedule adjustments?”

**

There was a loud murmur in the meeting room when Chris arrived, and within moments he had learned that some kind of security operation had happened overnight. Chris searched for Ash but he was nowhere to be seen. The rumors were everything from prostitutes to assassinations, and unsurprisingly, Klingons were blamed. When Admiral Ng called for them all to take their seats, Ash still wasn’t in his chair.

“Good morning, officers.” Ng began. “While we will follow up on yesterday’s discussions, I thought I’d start with some urgent matters. As some of you are aware, we had a series of incidents on the base.”

The murmur came back in full force as the gathered officials began talking to their neighbors. Chris looked at the empty seat where Ash had sat the previous day and raised his voice to be heard over the others. “Where’s Commander Tyler? Shouldn’t he be present for this?”

“Commander Tyler is unavailable at the moment.” Ng replied, just as someone dressed in Section 31’s black uniform entered through a side door. The woman sat down in Ash’s empty seat. Ng nodded towards her. “Subcommander Rask will be taking his place for the day. Subcommander, why don’t you tell us all what happened last night.”

“Of course, Admiral.” Rask said, before turning to the room at large. “Over the past week, we have intercepted intelligence that hinted at some sort of sabotage against this conference. A gathering of several high-profile captains and Federation officials was always going to need adequate security, and the Section assisted based on the intelligence we had.”

“What intelligence?” Chris asked aloud, once again frustrated by the Section’s reluctancy to share.

“We were working on the possibility of a number of assassination attempts. Yours, for example.” Rask replied.

Chris felt himself grow cold.

Rask continued, “The Section worked in full cooperation with the Starbase’s regular security team, as well as additional teams provided by Admiral Ng. No one’s life was ever truly at risk, but we decided to let the conspirators continue with their plan until such time we could capture or incapacitate them.”

“Assassination attempt? Someone tried to kill me?” Chris asked.

“Captains Djordjic, DeFranklin, Osaka, M’Beki and Lloyd were also targeted, along with the ops and engine rooms of the base.”

“You said it was drunken fight between rival Andorians!” Captain Osaka exclaimed loudly.

“The incident at Pike’s quarters was the first, and we were eager to keep the situation quiet, so as not to alert other conspirators their plot had been discovered.” Rask explained.

Ng took over, “We debated whether to tell you about this threat, but since we did not know which specific officers were potential targets, Commander Tyler and I judged it best to handle it quietly.”

“And put us all in mortal danger!” Chris argued. “Yesterday I chastised the Section for not informing ship captains of pertinent information, but you are just as bad! You have no right to treat us like this. Commander Tyler should be here, not only to explain himself, but to see you be put to shame as well.”

Calls of agreement came from around the table, an upset outcry coming from the ordinarily calm group of people.

“Commander Tyler took lead on your case personally.” Rask said. “He made an arrest earlier this morning after a night full of several concurrent investigations. The commander will be overseeing the interrogations of all those apprehended during the operation. It is quite troubling that someone would dare to execute this plot, on a base so deep into Federation space.”

“On that we agree.” Chris said. “So where is Commander Tyler now? Why isn’t he here explaining all this?”

“I’m sure he’s light years away by now.” Rask said in a moment of candor. “The investigation will be handled by the Section, off-base.”

As Captain M’Beki raised their voice to be heard, Chris turned to his PADD. He messaged Spock and Number One with a brief update and orders for them to find out all they could from the station’s security personnel. He messaged Ash with a simple ‘ _contact me asap_ ’. As he sent it, the situation dawned on him. He almost began to shake. He’d been in life-or-death situations before, but he’d known about them, they had been part of the missions he participated in as captain of the _Enterprise_. But this one was different.

Ash had known there was a potential threat to Chris’ life.

Chris had argued with him.

Ash had maybe broken things off between them.

Chris could’ve died without telling Ash he loved him.

Ash had saved his life, and had done so without telling him and was now gone.

There was so much to be angry and upset about, but mostly Chris just wanted to hear Ash’s voice and know that they were both safe.

**

The conference went well past the scheduled time thanks to the uncovered conspiracy and the lively debate it caused. Rask kept stonewalling them about who was behind it, but she did concede that certain Federation enemies had more to gain from it than others. She kept saying Ash would lead the investigation and it was more or less agreed by everyone present that meant Ash and the prisoners was at one of Section 31’s clandestine facilities in the Orion system.

Ultimately it was decided that any Starfleet ships or bases close to Klingon space would be accompanied by a military vessel and that the captains targeted in the night’s events would be fully briefed as soon as possible.

This time Chris didn’t let himself be waylaid by anybody as the meeting ended, heading straight out into the hallway with a single-minded focus. The second he was there he opened his communicator to hail Section 31. Being a mostly secret organization, they were difficult to get ahold of at the best of times, but Ash had arranged a switchboard of sorts. If you were lucky enough to know their transmission frequency, you could always reach their communications central and ask to be patched through to a certain agent or leave a message. Though not a flawless system by any means, it was miles better than previously, when there had been no communication channels at all.

“This is comm ops.” A female voice said.

“This is Captain Pike of the starship _Enterprise_. I need to talk to Commander Tyler, right now.”

“Commander Tyler is unavailable at present. I can make sure a message gets to him if you’d like.”

“That implies you know where he is. Where the hell is he?” Chris asked, his frustration bleeding out.

“Not here. I have several other capable operatives if you–”

Chris cut her off, “No, I want to talk to Tyler right now, about the shitstorm he left behind on Starbase 8.”

After a brief pause, the woman said, “I will make sure he gets your message. Pike, was it?”

“You’re goddamn right it’s Pike. He knows who I am. And tell him I will not take lightly to him postponing our chat.” Chris felt angry as he turned the communicator off, but he couldn’t care about being rude to some random person when his life was threatened and his relationship might be over.

**

Chris was in a foul mood for the next couple of days. _Enterprise_ hung around Starbase 8 for a few of those days, before setting off for Glida 7. Along with his two closest officers, Chris questioned some people involved in the security operation on the base and was able to see footage from the hallway that night as Ash interrupted someone attempting to break into Chris’ quarters, chasing them around the station’s promenade. It left Chris reeling, the fact that something so dangerous had happened so close to him and he’d never noticed it. He knew he had been too occupied with thoughts of his relationship, and it was a horrible reminder of why so many captains remained unattached, their job demanding so much of their attention and time.

He sent a few more messages to Ash on a secure channel, hoping he’d receive them in some way or another. They were mostly angry requests to be in touch as soon as possible. Chris wished he could say something nicer, but the current situation was too pressing to forget the roles they played in Starfleet.

Una ran interference with most of the crew and command issues, and Spock took care of the science team responsibilities. Una probably understood the full reason why Chris was so affected, while Spock most likely assumed it was anger over the situation that had transpired on the Starbase. Chris was thankful he had two highly competent officers, and figured he’d make it up to the whole crew later on.

He was in his ready room, absently reading the latest progress report from the engineering, when his communicator signaled an incoming hail. He grabbed it and with a flick of his wrist, folded it open.

“This is Captain Pike of the _U.S.S._ _Enterprise_.”

“Hello Pike, this is Commander Tyler. Are you alone?”

“Ash! What the hell, where are you, are you alright?” Chris exclaimed, relief and frustration flowing through him.

“Are you alone?” Ash asked again.

“I am.” Chris said. “I’m guessing this is a secure channel?”

“As secure as anything can be.” Ash sighed, “I understand that you have questions, but can I start with saying I’m happy you’re still alive?”

“Thanks to you, I’m told.” Chris said. “Dammit Ash, how could you let us argue like that when you knew something bigger was going on? Our stuff could’ve waited. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me what was going on. Someone tried to kill me!”

“Don’t you get it?” Ash replied quickly, like he was picking up right where they left off. “I can’t tell you! That’s my whole fucking job! It’s a _secret_ organization. The mere fact that people know I run it is more forthcoming than it’s ever been. I’m fucking doing my best to make this an institution with some credibility and accountability, but it’s a fucking spy organization, what do you expect?”

“I expect you to tell me when someone wants to kill me!” Chris exclaimed, knowing that Ash was right, but not caring in the moment. “You know me, and you know I would’ve gone along with any play you might’ve had, but leaving me in the dark like that… That’s not right.”

Ash groaned, “We’re getting nowhere here. We didn’t know until that night who would be targeted. That’s why we had double security throughout the station. That’s why I staked out your quarters for fucking hours after I left you.”

Chris closed his eyes in hurt at the words. “Did you? Leave me?”

There was a telling silence before Ash spoke again, “I told you, I don’t know. I’ve got this conspiracy to weed out, I can’t think about us right now. But this incident only proves that what I’m doing, what my agents are doing, is important work that helps the Federation. If you can’t recognize that…”

“I know that your work is important. I just wish there was a way for you to be more forthcoming about it. Both professionally and personally.”

“I understand that. I can’t really talk longer. I know we have things to discuss, but it’s gonna have to wait for now, I’m sorry.” Ash said, and there was an honest note of contrition in his voice.

“No, I know, I get it, you’ve got a mess on your hands. But… can you be in touch when possible? Let me know you’re alive? I don’t like this one bit, a group feeling confident enough to try assassinations on a Starbase deep inside Federation space. They could have powerful backers, and that means you could end up in more trouble than usual.”

Ash snorted, “If you only knew the kind of trouble I get into… I wholeheartedly agree that this attack is very disconcerting. I have to give this investigation my all, or I would’ve been in touch sooner. I’ll try to check in as often as I can, but that might not be often at all.”

Chris sighed, staring out at the window of his ready room, for once focusing on the darkness between the stars, and not the brightness of the thousands of suns that usually drew his attention. “Take care of yourself, alright? I… well, I’d be very upset if something happened to you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, same here. I gotta go, but I’ll be in touch soon, I hope.”

With a loud beep the transmission ended. Chris closed his communicator, sinking down in his chair. He kept looking out at the vast darkness outside the _Enterprise_ , feeling his mood grow gloomy but there being nothing he could do about it. He undid his uniform jacket and treated himself to a rare pause.

“Fuck.” Chris muttered.

It had been good to hear Ash’s voice, to know that he was alright. But once again they’d argued, and once again they’d settled nothing. Instead of telling Ash how much he mattered to Chris and apologizing for what he’d said on the Starbase, they’d gotten into it over Ash’s job. He knew they needed to have proper, honest conversation about it all, but to do that they needed to be in the same place at the same time.

He didn’t doubt that Ash wanted to talk. Over the years Ash had become more forthcoming, something Chris had gotten to see both in private and professional settings. Ash inspired loyalty in most of his subordinates, they were always defending or praising him in situations where his leadership was questioned. From talking to other Starfleet captains and Federation staff, it was clear to Chris that Section 31 was undergoing some positive reforms, but it was still horribly frustrating to stonewalled most of the time. It didn’t completely gel with how Ash was in private, how he’d started opening up about the memories he had from a childhood on Earth, his first Starfleet assignment, the short moments he’d had with Voq’s son before L’Rell had sent him away.

In the past year they’d even started joking around more, and a playful Ash was a wonderful thing. He made Chris feel ten years younger, made him eager to share his own stories, like his own run-in with manipulative aliens. Ash never judged him, or acted affronted or disgusted by Chris’ stories. It was with growing horror that Chris was realizing that perhaps he did judge Ash, or at least his involvement in Section 31.

“Just stay alive.” Chris said into the void, hoping the sentiment would somehow reach Ash’s ear.

A chime at the door announced a visitor.

“Enter.” Chris said.

Una stepped inside, “Captain, I have next week’s shift changes.”

“That sounds supremely boring.” Chris grinned. “Let’s have at it.”

**

The following weeks were rather uneventful for the _Enterprise_ , but official communiques from Starfleet HQ told of incidents near Klingon space and heightened tensions. The gossip around the ship told of red alert-drills and compulsory combat practices all across the fleet. But the _Enterprise_ and her crew were currently a long way from the border and mostly plodded along with its usual routine since Chris hadn’t received any orders regarding extra measures. On Chris’ own discretion they had implemented a tightened security routine and double checked all emergency and fire alarms throughout the ship. He’d tasked every shift supervisor with running drills for their teams in case of a hostile takeover of the ship and he’d even held a short speech shipwide over the intercom about vigilance and readiness, something he hated doing.

But all that was actually a lot less work than Chris wanted it to be, and the crew was for the most part experienced enough to not be overly concerned by the situation. It was unfortunate, since Chris would’ve appreciated a distraction from worrying about Ash and wondering what the hell was going on regarding the conspiracy. Throughout his career, by no fault of his own, Chris had been in a number of strained and dangerous situations on planets and starships. For years now, ever since the _Discovery_ shitshow, he’d thought he’d appreciate being left out of the most contentious diplomatic missions. But now that he was finally sitting one drama out, he hated it. He kept mentioning to his superiors that he was available to help the investigation in any capacity needed, but they kept on ignoring him.

Every now and again, Chris thought about the next step in his career, about joining Starfleet HQ in some capacity, about leaving the constant wanderings of a starship captaincy behind and settling down somewhere, start a new stage in his life. But if there was one thing he’d realized in the current situation, it was that he did not cope well with being out of the loop. As for the other things that came with ‘settling down’, he’d always figured he’d have a family somehow but now he didn’t know what he thought. A wife and child hadn’t featured in his abstract visions of the future for quite some time. These days he mostly saw himself on a planet where he could escape the Federation’s political drama for long stretches of time before heading into the fray again.

With few distractions as they charted yet another planetary system, Chris thought about his future more than he had for a long time. When he tired of that, he made time for surprise visits to engineering to learn more about dilithium crystals and spent time in the various science labs to keep up with the current projects being carried out on board. He even went to the lower decks in a misguided attempt to simply talk to crew members, but they became so nervous and anxious at his unannounced arrival that he had to abort the attempt pretty quickly.

Una and the other officers noted his restlessness and a pointed message arrived at his desk one day, noting that the shuttlecrafts needed test flying with their upgraded engines and Chris jumped at the chance at spending some hours zipping around between planets and stars.

Ash sent messages twice in those weeks, short ones that mostly stated that he was alive and that the investigation was ongoing. At the same time as Chris was happy to get them, it frustrated him no end that they were so short and to the point.

It was over two months since he last spoke to Ash in person, and nearly three weeks since he last heard from him, when Chris was notified by the communications officer that he had received an encrypted message. Hopeful it was from Ash, but certain it was yet another update on some security routine, Chris asked to have the message passed through to his ready room where he was winding down after a full day on the bridge arguing with Spock over pollen samples. 

With a few clicks and taps from both the communications officer and Chris, the message soon started playing in the ready room. Ash’s voice took over the room.

“Hi Chris. Shit’s gone to shit. I’m sending you this because I want to… say something before I die, I suppose. I know things have been weird between us and that’s my fault, and maybe you don’t even care anymore, but you’ve meant a lot to me, and this thing we have, I’m happier for it. I’m happy I met you. I love you. There. I said it. It’s a shitty thing to say moments before I die and leave you all alone with it, but I’m a shitty person. I guess that’s what I wanted to say. To let you know that. I’ve kinda assumed you feel the same about me, but even if you don’t, I know you won’t mind me thinking that you do, to have something nice to focus on before I… well. It would’ve been nice to see you again. I hope you get to be happy. What’s that thing the Vulcans say? Live long and prosper? Yeah, I hope you do that. Shit, they’re coming. Bye, Chris.”

The message ended abruptly, leaving a deafening silence behind. Chris sat reeling in shock, staring wide-eyed at the wall. It must’ve been only seconds, but it felt like an eternity before he came back to himself. He played the message again. He took in every hitch of Ash’s breath, the stress in his voice, the mechanical thumps in the background. He listened to it over and over, a message less than a minute in length that somehow managed to disrupt his entire life.

“Dammit, Ash.” Chris said under his breath, surprising himself with how frail his own voice sounded. “Who’s after you? Why?”

He must’ve sat there for a good half hour, ignoring all incoming hails and communications, in favor of Ash’s message. What finally broke him out of his trance was hearing his name called from outside the ready room.

“Enter!” Chris called out, quickly adjusting his collar and sleeves in a move to look presentable.

It was Una that entered. She started talking immediately but stopped herself a few words in. She tilted her head. “Everything alright, Captain?”

Chris made a split-second decision. “I want you to listen to something.”

Una looked at him quizzically, but when Chris motioned for her to sit down, she took a seat and waited. There was surprise writ on her face when Ash started speaking, her eyes snapping over to Chris. She seemed uncomfortable at some of the personal things Ash said, but more than that she seemed worried.

This time, the ensuing silence was almost unbearable, amplified by the fact that they were two people in the room. Chris fixed his eyes on his first officer, though he was not sure what he was searching for.

Having to clear her throat before she could speak, Una asked, “Is he… Was that a new message?”

“I got it thirty minutes ago.” Chris explained. “He’s never said those things before. He wouldn’t, not unless… I truly think he might be…”

Reaching out to put a hand on Chris’ wrist, Una gently said, “You don’t know that. You really don’t. A hundred things could’ve happened, he’s very resourceful.” She squeezed him reassuringly, “There could be second message any minute now, asking you to forget this one.”

Chris snickered at the thought. “I just wish I could do something. I hate feeling powerless. I’m a man of action, not waiting.”

“Trust me, I know that.” Una said, a wry smile on her face. “Since you’re a man of action, why don’t we get to it? What do you know about the message, where was it sent from?”

“It was encrypted.”

“We’ll get Spock to look at it. What was Tyler’s last known position? We have to at least get the official story from Section 31. Are there any clues in the background of the message?”

Chris shook his head, “You don’t have to do this. This is my problem.”

“If my partner sent me a message like that, would you not devote all your time and resources to help me find him?” Una asked.

“I would, yeah.” Chris agreed. “But Ash has a very dangerous role. You wouldn’t be stupid enough to get involved with someone like that.”

Una slapped him lightly on the hand, “We can’t pick and choose who we love. If we could, space would be a much more boring place.”

Chris wondered how he got to be so lucky to have a first officer like Una. He knew she’d carried feelings of some sort for him once upon a time, but they’d never talked about it and mostly stayed away from the topic of relationships as a result, so as not to make things awkward. But he’d seen her with men at times, and she’d been nothing but supportive since finding out about him and Ash.

“I do love him, you know?” Chris said quietly.

“I know. I also know you won’t rest until you get to tell him in person.”

Feeling his resolve tighten, Chris suddenly had a sense of purpose and an idea of action. “I’m going to find him. I won’t turn down your offer of help because if nothing else, a Starfleet commander is MIA, possibly worse. We’re fully within our mission to launch a search party. But if things get crazy or there’s a hint of a threat to someone other than me, I’m doing this alone.”

With a sharp nod, Una showed that she understood.

Chris moved to his desk, pulling up the recording on the main display. “Okay, let me take out his voice from the message and see if we hear anything in the background that might give us a clue.”

**

It was embarrassing to have Spock hear the message, but thankfully the Vulcan did not reveal any type of emotional response to finding out about his captain’s entanglement. The _Enterprise_ was currently hovering around a nebula to collect some routine data, so it was without problem that the three of them could focus on tracing Ash’s last known whereabouts and pester any contact they could think of for information on the investigation into the conspiracy.

Spock cracked the encryption in just a few hours, saying it was a hastily done standard encryption, implying Ash might not have had time to do make it more complex. The message came from the Orion system and had been sent without delay to the _Enterprise_. Considering how paranoid Ash was about how he and Chris sent messages to each other, that information was slightly worrying to Chris.

Around the same time Una got it out of a cousin that worked at Starfleet’s spaceflight coordination center that numerous military and civilian ships had received updated flight paths to the Orion system, but no stated mission or purpose for the rerouting. Having already been told on Starbase 8 that Section 31 were taking the prisoners to their base in the Orion system, Chris made an educated guess that something was brewing in the area.

After some deliberation, Chris decided to move the _Enterprise_ from the nebula. He cited an old and constantly ignored mission of mapping gas giants in the Orion system as the reason. Ninety-nine per cent of the crew had no idea it was a cover, and prepared their various work stations for the mission. Spock and Una instead ran continuous sweeps of the area for force field disruptions and fluctuations, or anything else out of the ordinary, while Chris kept himself busy looking at star charts and scouring through data logs from any Starfleet vessel that had been in the area for clues to where a secret base might be. 

It was two sleepless nights before they finally made a breakthrough. It came when Spock called Chris over to his station on the bridge.

“Captain, long range sensors have picked up something in sector 23-A. Hull signatures from two different ships, one is mostly scattered debris, and one seemingly intact. At this distance it’s difficult to tell which is which. One of the signatures is consistent with Starfleet’s modulator, but I have been unable to get the computer to pinpoint which specific ship it is.”

“Bio signs?”

“None so far, but that could be because of the sensor range.”

Chris crossed his arms as he wracked his brains for ideas. “How far away, did you say?”

Spock pressed a few digits on his work station before replying, “Four hours in a shuttle craft.”

“Interesting enough to investigate?” Chris asked. It was very little to go on with regards to finding Ash, but a possibly damaged Starfleet vessel was always worth a closer look.

“Indeed, Captain.”

“I could go alone.” Chris offered, because he couldn’t order anyone onto this mission.

“It will be much safer and efficient if I accompany you.” Spock countered. “It will also save Starfleet Command the trouble of replacing you when you disappear into space.”

Chris gave Spock a look, knowing full well Spock was using humor though he claimed not to be in possession of it. “I’m glad you’re thinking of the workload of our superiors.”

“As all good Starfleet officers should.” Spock said, his eyebrow twitching.

**

It was three hours into their flight before they were able to determine that the debris field included a mostly intact Starfleet vessel, while a ship with an unknown hull signature was scattered in several pieces around the area. Neither ship yielded any bio signs. The scene worried Chris, wondering if this was the aftermath of what Ash had mentioned in his message.

Chris found himself zoning out, replaying both Ash’s message and the last time they had exchanged more than hurried touches in his mind. He hadn’t allowed himself to truly think of Ash being gone, because then he’d have to face the fact that he’d been a terrible partner for a long time and would never have a chance to do better by his lover. He didn’t know he’d let a few tears slip until Spock handed him a tissue out of nowhere.

“Thank you.” Chris said hoarsely.

“My mother is human.” Spock said as some type of explanation, keeping his focus on various control displays.

Chris knew very well that Spock was half-human, and that he struggled with combining his two native cultures at times. Right now, Chris appreciated that Spock was not asking how he felt, but still offered quiet support.

A chime rang out from the shuttle’s control hub, and Spock hummed as he read the automated message.

“Anything?” Chris prompted.

“Sensors have picked up an energy fluctuation behind a small moon in grid B-31.”

Sitting up straight in his seat, Chris brought up the information on his own console and ran an analysis protocol. “I’m getting inconclusive readings. No bio signs but there appears to be some heat radiation where there should be none.”

“Agreed. That moon is completely devoid of life, but something is blocking a full scan, as if the sensors can’t reach around it.”

“All signs of a cloaked ship.” Chris swallowed, steeling himself. “Are you ready for a closer look?”

“No point in wasting time.”

“You got that right. If something is there, it’s probable they’ve already detected us. I’ll try to make it look like we’re just inspecting the debris field. Be ready when I need you.” Chris said.

“I’ll keep watching the sensors.”

Slowly, almost too slowly, they neared the debris, and circled around it.

“Something odd, Captain.” Spock said. “We’re close enough for the shuttle’s cameras to get a good look at the designation of the vessel with Starfleet signature, but when I enter it into the database, there are no search results. The vessel clearly exists in front of us, but not according to the computer.”

“That’s because it’s Section 31.” Chris concluded darkly. “What about the other vessel?”

“This close, it seems to be a Klingon ship.”

“Thoughts?”

“Klingons like to hunt in packs. There were probably two or more Klingon ships that happened upon the Section vessel, one of the Klingons was destroyed, the other got away.”

Chris nodded, “Agreed. If there’s a cloaked ship behind that moon, it’s either waiting for revenge on Starfleet, or it’s too damaged and can’t make the journey home.”

“A cloak would explain why we haven’t picked up bio signs. Either everyone is dead, or they’re on the cloaked ship. Section’s representatives too.” Spock added.

“Thank you for that.” Chris noted sarcastically, even though Ash being taken captive was better than him being blown to bits.

Chris put them into a holding pattern as they deliberated possible ways forward. They could put out an SOS and lure the other vessel to decloak, or they could try to pinpoint a location and stage a surprise attack but their shuttle’s weapons arsenal would hardly get them unscathed through a proper firefight. But sitting tight and waiting for backup did not feel like an option.

As they went back and forth, Spock had the computer running standard programs analyzing the debris field and the communications transponder was wide open to all transmissions.

Ten minutes of discussion stopped abruptly when the communication receiver crackled into life with a short message, “ _Enterprise_ shuttle craft, whatever you’re up to, get ready.”

Chris and Spock looked at each other with surprise, and seconds later they saw a Starfleet vessel drop out of warp to the left of them, and veer towards the moon they’d been monitoring. On instinct, Chris fired up the engines and careened after it.

“Get ready, Spock! If a ship decloaks, run a full scan for bio signs. If there’s a human I want to know about it, and I want the transporter locked on them immediately.”

“On it, Captain.”

With the shuttle’s engines they wouldn’t have been able to keep up for long but it was only a short minute later that the Starfleet vessel fired into empty space, and after two photon torpedoes were launched, a Klingon ship appeared where there had only been black space, firing back immediately.

“Spock! Now!”

“Running scan. 50 life signs… Including one human!”

“Shit, it could be him. I don’t care if it’s not, it’s unlikely they’re there of their own free will, get them out of there!”

“Initiating transporter sequence.” Spock said, too calm for the situation.

“Take the helm!” Chris twirled out of his seat, reaching for his phaser and readying himself for whomever might show up in the back carriage where the transporter pad was.

It took only seconds, but suddenly Ash was sitting on the floor in front of Chris. The warmest, maybe happiest, sensation Chris had ever felt bloomed from his heart and spread throughout his entire being at seeing the man he loved and had feared lost in front of him again. He was also terrified and angry at seeing bruises and scars on Ash’s face, his hair ragged and his black uniform torn in places. One eye was swollen and his skin was pallid. He may have been alive, but Ash was not well.

“It’s him! Get us the hell out of here!” Chris yelled hurriedly, and immediately tumbled over as Spock turned the shuttle around and sped away. “Ash? Ash, can you hear me, are you alright?”

“Chris?” Ash looked up at him wonderingly. “Pike?”

Taking Ash’s hands in his and stroking them gently, Chris said, “Yeah, Ash, it’s me, I’m here. Please tell me I just pulled off a rescue for the ages, and didn’t steal you from some mission.”

Ash let out a choked laugh, “No, you’re my hero. Fuck, you really are, you saved me. I should’ve known you’d be the same dashing hero as always.”

Chris laughed, putting his arms around Ash and kissing his hair, “Dammit Ash, I thought I’d lost you.”

The shuttle rocked as it was hit by something.

“Captain! A little help up here would be appreciated!” Spock called.

“Coming!” Chris called back. He pressed another kiss to Ash’s head, “I’m sorry, darling, I gotta go make sure I pull off this rescue completely.”

Ash waved him away, and Chris hurried to take his seat next to Spock. The shuttle rocked again, and the computer relayed information about shield percentage and hull integrity that Chris ignored.

“It appears we’ve got someone trailing us.” Spock noted.

“A second ship? When the hell did they get a second ship?” Chris asked, seeing a small but fast ship following them on the viewer, one that did not look like the one that had decloaked.

“It appeared as we made our getaway.” Spock said. “I can still see the Starfleet vessel firing on the first ship on the sensors.”

“Our new friend is too fast for my liking.” Chris said. “Try to get closer the moons in sector 5. I’ll try to keep them at bay with our torpedoes.”

For long minutes, they tried to outrun their pursuer, firing weapons with little effect and executing evasive maneuvers that gave them little respite. Chris sent a transmission to the _Enterprise_ with their position and asking for assistance, but he knew it wouldn’t come anytime soon. They kept being rocked by hits and near-hits, and the computer insisted on telling them how badly they were doing.

“Hold tight!” Chris called out, seeing the torpedo heading in their direction. It was a direct hit, and Chris fell out of his chair awkwardly.

“Captain!” Spock grabbed at his shoulder, “We’re losing shields.”

“Find us somewhere to hide or land, one more hit like that and we’re done.” Chris saw that Ash was on the floor, holding his arm gingerly, blood oozing from what looked like a previous cut on his cheek. “Ash, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Ash murmured, eyes glazed over.

“Dammit.” Chris swore to himself. “Spock, any and all plans are welcome.”

“We’re losing power across the board, we won’t last much longer at this speed, the strain on the ship’s engines is too much.”

“We need to slow down then. Which means we need to slow them down.” Chris looked at the screens in front of him, taking in the distance between the two ships and the fire power they still had. “Spock, let them catch up by a few seconds.”

“Captain?”

“Do it!” Chris set up the photon torpedoes where he wanted them, rerouting energy from the shuttle’s secondary systems. He waited for as long as he dared to, allowing their pursuer to come close enough that he could lock on to a specific target on the ship, and not just the ship’s general direction. He located their weapons firing array and locked the torpedoes in.

With the adrenaline pumping, Chris punched the display for one last attempt at disabling the other ship. The second he put in the command they suffered a direct hit, which made them lose control of the shuttle, but as it spun around he could see that the torpedo he had hit the other ship at exactly the right place, the ship coming apart in two pieces, one part on fire while the other was eerily dark.

Regaining his focus, Chris had to crawl to get to Ash, the shuttle spinning too fast and the gravity control only half-working. He reached out for him, “Some rescue this is.”

“My arm.” Ash said, looking like he was about to be sick.

“With some luck I should be able to get us into Orion XP-3’s gravity.” Spock called from the front.

“Do it!” Chris was able to get his arms around Ash, pulling him into his lap, “You’re alright, you’re alright.”

“Hull integrity is dangerously low, but navigation is mostly fine.” Spock reported.

“Just pick a damn rock to land on, preferably somehow that keeps us alive!” Chris shouted at him.

“You’re the better pilot!” Spock said, voice tight with accusation.

“Well, shit.” Chris said, knowing it was true. He hated leaving Ash again, but it was for the greater good. He crawled back towards the helm, where Spock relinquished control of navigation quickly. They were already in the pull of the planet’s gravity, and all Chris could do was try to control their landing.

“The northern part of the planet is mostly solid land, the southern has more water and from the looks of it more ice.” Spock reported.

“Aim for the middle, got it.” Chris muttered, trying to compensate for the loss of speed control by sliding them side to side and upwards to achieve a lower speed manually.

“I believe a wooded area would be the best.” Spock added helpfully.

“Oh for… You’ll get whatever the hell you get!” Chris snapped, though he tried to keep the shuttle in orbit over the northern part of the planet. Gravity was pulling them closer and closer, the entry into the planet’s atmosphere rocking them again. They only made it three laps around the planet before they were close enough for Chris to risk a landing on what looked like a plain of vegetation.

“Brace for impact!” Chris shouted.

**

Blinking himself awake, Chris looked around blearily. His head was pounding and his stomach churned. Outside there was daylight and some type of trees at a strange angle, like the shuttle wasn’t standing straight. He caught sight of Spock, and reached to wake him. His friend made a groaning noise but seemed to be coming to. Satisfied with his reaction, Chris jumped to get to Ash, who was lying on the floor, bleeding not only from his cheek but from a split lip too.

“Ash, can you hear me?” Chris asked. He stroked Ash’s uninjured cheek carefully, “Ash?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” Ash mumbled, not opening his eyes. “Where are we, are we done?”

“We’re on Orion XP-3. I think our pursuers are dead in water above us, maybe even dead full stop.” Chris said. “I think we get a breather for a little while.”

Spock stood up, attending to a display on the side of the helm, “We were sending out our position data throughout the chase, so the _Enterprise_ should be able to find us easily enough, but so might anyone else in the area.”

“Let’s hope our unknown benefactors dealt with the cloaked ship.” Chris mused.

“How is he?” Spock asked, coming over to the others.

“I think he’s okay. He’s been put through the ringer, and he needs sustenance but overall he’s in okay shape.” Chris said.

Spock nodded, “That’s good. I’m gonna go outside and have a look around, see to the shuttle. You stay with Commander Tyler.”

“Thank you.” Chris said, surprisingly overcome with emotions.

“Certainly.” Spock said, coming back with a first aid kit before exiting the shuttle.

Chris opened the green box, pulling out towels and bandages. “You still with me?”

Ash grunted, finally opening his eyes, “I’m here.”

“Can you sit up?”

“If I must.”

Secretly amused at Ash’s reaction, Chris helped him sit up against the wall, the two of them huddled on the floor. He catalogued Ash’s appearance again, the swollen eye, the slightly distant stare, the awkward way he held his arm.

“Let’s get you cleaned up.” He carefully wiped at Ash’s face with a dampened towel, getting the worst of the blood and dirt away. The wound had stopped bleeding for the moment, but the sooner they got to a real medical center, the better. Ash let himself be bossed around, turning his head and shifting as Chris directed him.

“You wanna change clothes?” Chris asked once he decided he couldn’t clean him up more. “There’s always a couple of extra standard issue workwear on these shuttles.”

“Yeah.” Ash said quietly. “You got anything to drink?”

Chris went to the back of the shuttle, opening compartments and pulling out clothes and then finding the rations of water and emergency meals. He handed Ash the water first.

After swallowing half the bottle, Ash spoke up. “I can’t believe you came for me. I should’ve guessed, since your hero complex is huge, but still. I don’t even know if my own people were looking for me.”

“I think they were. There was an unmarked vessel that engaged the ship we beamed you off of, that was the only reason we could get you out. There’s no doubt it was a Section ship coming for you, they’re probably scanning the planet for us as we speak.”

“If they won.” Ash said darkly.

“Oh, they did.” Chris said confidently. “With the torpedoes they were firing? They won. Can you raise your arm to change shirts?”

“I can try. It’s not broken, but I’ve messed my right elbow up somehow.”

With a little help from Chris, Ash was able to get out of his black uniform into the standard navy blue. To Chris’ relief, there were no new scars on Ash’s chest though there were a few bruises that would fade with time.

“They weren’t that violent with me. Hadn’t gotten around to that yet.” Ash said, knowing what Chris was doing.

“I’m still sorry it happened to you at all.” Chris said, cupping Ash’s cheek. “I’ve been so damn worried.”

Ash put his hand on Chris’, squeezing it lightly, “You got my message then?”

“Yeah, I did. Fuck, Ash, when I thought you might’ve been gone… That was fucking scary. Don’t send things like that again.”

“I know it was selfish.” Ash shrugged helplessly. “I just… had to say it. And apologize for what happened between us.”

“I was all to blame for that, not you. I was an ass.” Chris leaned in, kissing Ash gently on the lips. “I love you too.”

Ash’s eyes seemed sharper as he focused on Chris, but Chris noted that only in passing, instead taking in the small smile on Ash’s face and the way his hand clutched around Chris’ wrist. He could only smile back, happy to finally have said it out loud.

“We have a lot to talk about.” Ash said. “I promise that we will talk, but we gotta figure out a way to get out of here. Where’d Spock go?”

Disappointed by the change in topic, but knowing that Ash was right, Chris straightened, pressing a few buttons on the nearest display. “He went outside to assess the damage on the shuttle and have a look around the area. We’re on Orion XP-3, and we managed to send several minutes’ worth of telemetry to the _Enterprise_ , so if nothing else, they’ll be here in a couple of hours. I’m sure your friends will pick us up before that.”

**

They ended up sitting right outside the shuttle, waiting for a rescue team. Chris and Spock kept assuring Ash that they had been able to transmit enough data for any Starfleet vessel to come get them without much delay but Ash seemed to find it difficult to believe.

“The Klingons had me for seven days, best as I can make out. I think I was transported to a second ship at some point. You’ll have to forgive me for believing the Section only just found me the minute you guys showed up.” Ash said, skepticism clear in his voice.

“I got your message three Earth days ago.” Chris said, frowning.

“When we analyzed the message, there was no indication of a delay.” Spock added. “It is more probable that you lost sense of time as a prisoner.”

Ash snorted, “When you’ve been a prisoner as much as I have, you get pretty good at keeping track of time.”

Chris did not like that dark turn at all. “Don’t be so cavalier about it. We were looking for you nonstop after I got that message. I am certain the same went for the Section once they realized you were missing. We have no idea what’s happened in the past days, nor what’s happening up there now. There could be more ships engaged in a fight right now, or your guys are hunting them down to make sure they get every last one. I’m guessing this is all somehow connected to the assassination attempts on Starbase 8?”

Ash fell quiet, offering a tiny apology with a hesitant look at Chris. “I suppose you could be right. Does that mean you heard my message too, Spock?”

“I did.” Spock confirmed. “I am pleased that we were able to save you, not only for what it means for Starfleet and rooting out the conspirators who targeted Captain Pike, but also because your well-being means a lot to him.”

“Oh man…” Ash muttered, hiding his face in his hands.

Chris snickered, “I’m embarrassed by it too, but needs must when it comes to desperate rescue attempts.” Deciding to risk things, Chris shuffled closer to Ash, sitting almost side-by-side. “It means we can relax for a little while.”

Ash reached out, but pulled his arm back instantly, rubbing at his elbow, “I really did fuck it up somehow, I don’t remember the Klingons doing anything to my arm.”

“So it was the Klingons?” Spock asked. “Are they behind the conspiracy?”

With some hesitance, Ash began to tell them of what he’d learned from the prisoners Section 31 had taken with them from Starbase 8 and the operations that had been put into motion after that. It had gone mostly fine until an agent had been compromised and a day after that, Ash had found himself alone in a small flyer, followed by three Klingon vessels. He’d been sure he was about to die when he sent the message to Chris, and was still surprised that the Klingons had chosen to beam him out instead.

“I should make some log entries while I’ve got it all fresh in my mind.” Ash said, looking over his shoulder at the shuttle. “Are there PADD’s I could use?”

“Of course.” Chris said. “If you’re sure you’re up for it, rest sounds like a good idea to me.”

“I know I look like I could use it, and hell, I probably do, but rest is a luxury I can rarely afford, and the sooner I get this into a log entry, the better.” Ash said, making to get up.

Chris hurried up, reaching out a hand to help Ash stand. Ash gave him an annoyed little look, but he allowed Chris to keep hold of his hand as he went with Ash inside the shuttle. He sat down at the helm, keeping silent as Chris collected a PADD for him, as well as another bottle of water and an emergency ration of what could only be called crackers.

“You and Spock have barely eaten.” Ash pointed out as he accepted the water.

“We’ve been here for two hours, and we’ve had water. You’re the one that’s been held captive for days.” Chris bristled as Ash rolled his eyes, “Would you stop that? I was fucking terrified you were dead, and you look like you’ve been beat up. I get the definite sense you’re not telling me everything. Let me take care of you, okay?”

Ash stilled, looking up at Chris. After a tense moment, Ash used his good arm to reach out, taking Chris’ hand. “I’m sorry. I can’t deal with it too seriously, you know I’ll start thinking about everything with L’Rell and the war and I… I can’t deal with that right now. I can hardly deal with the fact that you love me.”

“So you heard that then.” Chris snapped, a little harder than he’d meant to.

“I did. I love you too and I’m sorry I forced your hand about it. But there’s too much on the line right now with this conspiracy, that we have to put that conversation to the side.”

Chris sat down in the other chair, letting the tiredness take over his body. “You’re right, I know. I don’t like it, but I know. I’m just gonna sit here while you make your log entry.”

Ash looked ambivalent at the idea, still mindful of his work and keeping his secrets.

“We haven’t been in the same room for ages, you’ve been held fucking captive by an enemy of the Federation, your eyes still glaze over at times, and you could have internal injuries we know nothing about. I’m staying close to you whether you like it or not.” Chris said firmly.

Surprisingly, Ash broke out into a wide smile.

“What?” Chris grumped.

Ash leaned out of his seat, kissing Chris firmly with a hand on his neck. He pulled back, happily gazing at Chris, “You’re fucking amazing. Thank you. For caring about me.”

Calmed by his words, Chris lightly put Ash back into his seat. “A hero’s work is never done. Come on, start those entries and we might have time for other stuff before we’re rescued.”

**

They didn’t get much time for other stuff. Ash spent the next hour narrating a horrible story of chase, capture and mistreatment into a PADD. Chris hated listening to it, and he hated that hearing it meant good things for his job. Having a better understanding of what the conspirators had been up to and knowing what the Section was doing about it, meant he could make certain adjustments to his own security protocols on _Enterprise_. Like Ash had so often pointed out, the two of them were so committed to their leadership roles, that it was a wonder they could have functioning relationships with other people.

A relationship Chris really wanted to function was the one between him and Ash, and it was the feelings he had for the other man that made some of Ash’s story unbearable to listen to. Whenever Ash mentioned being manhandled by Klingons or authorizing his own agents to use rough methods on prisoners, he sent concerned glances Chris’ way. Chris tried to not give his reactions away, but he was tired both physically and emotionally. Besides, he probably should allow himself to show his emotions to his lover, and not keep them under the surface like he did as captain.

Once Ash was done recording his story, they spent a few minutes in companionable silence, something they often did. It was so rare for both of them to be left alone, to not have questions asked of them, or orders to sign. Silently enjoying each other’s undemanding presence was something they’d quickly fallen into when the relationship had begun.

It was Ash that made sure they went back outside, joining Spock who was occupying himself with taking various samples of the planet’s flora.

“I am grateful for your part in rescuing me.” Ash began. “But I hope you understand that everything about this, especially the nature of my relationship with your captain, is classified and you should not discuss it with anyone.”

“I understand.” Spock replied.

“I’ve understood that there is a great deal of professional and personal respect between the two of you, and it would regrettable if information that damaged either of your careers would become public knowledge.” Ash pressed.

“Ash!” Chris interrupted, “He won’t spill, he knows what’s at stake.”

“I just want to make myself very clear.” Ash said, a hard stare aimed at Spock.

“You have.” Spock said. “I have no desire or reason to compromise either of you, nor myself for that matter.”

“Good.” Ash smiled congenially. “Then you won’t mind if the captain and I go on an explorative promenade for a little while.”

“Of course not.” Spock said, an amused eyebrow twitching upwards. “Explore away.”

Chris gave Spock a dirty look, but he still let Ash lead him away. They didn’t go far, and they didn’t do much but hold each other and make out, but it still felt amazing and reassuring. After too short a time, Spock called out for them, saying the _Enterprise_ had managed to get a message through to the shuttle.

They were beamed up not long after, and with one last look they said goodbye to each other and the short peace they had shared. In the transporter room of the _Enterprise_ there were a number of people waiting for Captain Pike, and a fair few expecting Commander Tyler. They were beset by questions and updates, and the last Chris saw of Ash was him being herded towards the sickbay.

He was notified an hour later that the representatives from Section 31 had left the ship, including Commander Tyler. He was disappointed but not surprised to have been left without word again, he knew that it was nothing Ash could control, and he decided to focus instead on the positive of knowing that Ash was alive and loved Chris.

**

In the following weeks Ash and Chris exchanged short, bland messages that served as reminders that they were both well and thinking of each other, and wouldn’t be incriminating if someone decided to take a closer look at them. They even managed a couple of video calls on secure channels, talking a little more openly but avoiding the deeper conversation they still needed to have. Chris started to wonder if they were ever going to have it at all, but he cut Ash some slack while the conspiracy investigation was still ongoing.

The _Enterprise_ was back to conducting mostly routine diplomatic missions, bolstering the Federation’s various alliances and deepening talks with planets not yet aligned with the Federation. They had one close call with a Klingon warbird, but they came out of it with only two shots fired and no loss of life, which Chris called a commanding victory.

Currently, they were heading to Starbase 23 for scheduled maintenance and some downtime for the crew. As always, Chris was in his ready room, though this time he was wasting time on a crossword on his personal PADD rather than reading reports.

A chime announced someone at the door, making Chris mutter, “Enter.”

Una entered, as always looking impeccable and professional. “Captain, the cargo ship from the _Resilient_ docked successfully a few minutes ago.”

“Alright, keep me posted on the unloading procedure. Did they bring the water we asked for? I’ve been harping on about it for weeks to the resource allocators.” Chris asked. “Figures they’d get it to us as we’re heading into maintenance.”

“They did, along with something that might make you even happier.”

“Oh?”

With an ostentatious smirk and wink, Una left the room and the moment she disappeared from the doorway, Ash appeared instead.

“Hey, Chris.” Ash said as if it wasn’t a miracle that he was walking into Chris’ ready room, doors sliding closed behind him.

“Ash!” Chris hurried out of his seat, getting his arms around Ash the second he was within reach.

“This is highly irregular, Captain Pike.” Ash said, mirth evident in his voice. Despite his words he hugged Chris back. “I missed you.”

“Me too.” Chris admitted, feeling elated at hearing the words spoken out loud. There was always so much left unsaid between them. He pulled back to look at Ash. The bruises had faded, though there was a tiny scar near his upper lip that could just as easily be from shaving as from the Klingons using him as a punching bag.

“I’m fine.” Ash said, catching on to what Chris was doing. “I’m healed up.”

“Good. What are you doing here?” Chris kept his arms resting over Ash’s shoulder, keeping him close. “Business?”

“Actually, it’s not business.” Ash lowered his eyes for a brief moment, before meeting Chris’ eyes head-on. “I said we’d have time to talk after the investigation. Well, that’s now. I know I should’ve checked with you first, but I was on the _Resilient_ when I heard about them getting cargo to you, and well… Surprise.”

Chris smiled, “The best kind of surprise. We’ve got nothing too important going on right now, we’re heading to Starbase 23 for a checkup, nothing I can’t be away from for a day or two.”

“How about a week?”

“You’re here for a week? Section 31 doesn’t need you anywhere?”

Ash shrugged, putting his hands on Chris’ arms to keep them in place on his shoulders, “Like I said, the investigation is over. We’re back to normal operations. I can read reports and coordinate for a couple of hours a day from here. If that’s fine with you.”

“Absolutely.” Chris confirmed. “A week… Does that mean the talk we’ve been postponing isn’t to break things off?”

“Not unless you want us to.” Ash said, a very serious look on his face.

“Of course not.” Chris remembered what they’d said to each other that night on Starbase 8, before the conspiracy had put everything on pause. He sighed. “You’re the one who said you weren’t sure about us staying together.”

“Yeah.” Ash said quietly. He shifted so that he was resting his head against Chris’ shoulder, arms wrapped around him. “But that was before you came to rescue me. That whole time, me sending you that message, being with the Klingons… Fuck. I felt shit about a lot of stuff I’ve done, the way I treated you being the biggest one. It’s not gonna be all sunshine and roses between us, not with our jobs and personalities, but I want to work on it. Hell, I think that’s the healthiest thing I’ve ever said.”

Chris laughed, “I want to work on it too. I thought a lot about what you said, about how I’ve talked about your job, and I guess about you too. I’m gonna be better, I will. Can I start with treating you to dinner in the captain’s quarters?”

Ash chuckled, “I guess you can. You can also kiss me.”

Chris put his hand on Ash’s jaw, tilting his head up. It was with a buzzing sensation of joy and happiness that he pressed their lips together. Things might not be easy for them moving forward, but Chris was going to make damn sure Ash knew how happy he made him and how _good_ they were together.


End file.
